[Kevin]

Tom, your first try looks pretty good.
As far as speeding up the learning curve, the best way is a class or private instruction. But maybe not doable for you.
Also, helpful to have in your hands and examine quality engraving.
Constantly check point of graver for damage. Easy to damage when starting out, and hard to tell for a new person that it is damaged.
Try to keep depth to a minimum. Less point damage, easier to control graver.
Good luck, Kevin Scott